Why a Woman becomes Haraam for her Husband after 3 Divorces? Has Islam explained the solution in Tahleel Marriage? Isn’t Halala Marriage an injustice to a Woman? By Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi
Compiled By: Mufti Umar Anwar Badakhshani
This question was put to Ibn Qayyim to give the translation of the answer he wrote down in his book “al i’lam al-Muwaqqi’in ‘an Rabb al-‘Alamin”
Only he who is aware of the secrets Shariah and all reasons for the commands of Allah knows the philosophy of the woman becoming unlawful to a man after three pronouncements of divorce and again becoming lawful after she marries someone else. Let it be clear that Shariah has dictated differently in every period according to the expediencies of the times and the Ummah. The Torah had allowed a man to reconcile with his divorced wife until she married another man, once she married another man; the former husband could never reconcile with her under any circumstances. The wisdom behind this injunction is very clear. A husband would know that if he divorced his wife she would enjoy the full authority to do what she liked and she would even be permitted to marry another man which would shut all doors for reconciliation with her forever. Accordingly, his relations and bonds with his wife were strong and he could not tolerate separation with her. This Shariah applied to the people of Sayyidina Musa and was framed according to their temperament. They were very violent and short-tempered and very adamant.
The Shariah of Injeel followed. It shut the door on divorce after marriage. Once a man married a woman, he could never divorce her under any circumstances.
The Shariah of Sayyidina Muhammad ﷺ followed. It is the most complete and perfect Shariah. It is the most complete and perfect Shariah with the needs of men in regard to their living and worldly exigencies, and it is more intelligent. Allah has perfected the religion for these people and completed His blessings on them. Of the pure things, He has made certain things lawful for them that were forbidden to earlier people. Thus, it is proper for a man that he marries up to four women according to circumstances. Further, if the two do not see eye to eye then the husband is allowed to divorce her and marry another woman. If the woman does not suit the temperament of her husband or is mischievous and does not mend her ways then Islam does not propose to have the husband tied by her and undergo torment at her hands. Islam does not wish that such a woman should prove to be hell for the man.
Thus, Allah has allowed a husband to separate from a wife who has such habits. The procedure is for the man to give her one divorce and the woman should wait until she has had three Menstruation or until three months have passed for the man to revoke the divorce. It is possible that during this period the woman might mend her ways and stop being mischievous and her husband may incline towards her and Allah, The turner if Hearts may cause them to reconcile. During this period the door to reconciliation is left open so that the husband might revoke the divorce and get back his wife whom his anger and devilish sentiments had caused him to lose.
The procedure that we are describing allows for a second divorce within the period stated above if the two continue to differ and disagree after their reconciliation within this period. This will cause the woman to take the warning from repeated divorces and give up her disagreeable habits which anger her husband and cause the separation. This will also make the husband feel the burden of separation and keep him from divorcing her.
If, however, they cannot reconcile and are on the verge of the third divorce then that will be the point of no return. It is the final divorce and it is the command of Allah that the husband cannot reconcile with the woman whom he has given three divorces. The two people are told that reconciliation is possible for them after the first and the second pronouncements of divorce. After the third Pronouncement revocation is impossible. The two should take heed of this warning. The husband should realize that the third divorce will bring permanent separation between him and his wife; thus knowledge should prevent him from taking the extreme step. Further, if he wishes to have his wife back after the third divorce she must marry another man and the marriage must be well announced.
This man may then divorce her and she should go through the prescribed waiting period. But this thing also is not certain (for he might not divorce her, for instance). It is part of the procedure that this man whom the woman marries must have sexual intercourse with her and, as for their separation, he must divorce her of his own free will and she must pass her iddah. If this man dies after the marriage then too, the woman is allowed to marry her former husband after the iddah. It is only after passing through their stages that her first husband may hope to remarry her. Therefore, before he gives her the third divorce he is sensible, foresighted, and considers these points remembering also that Allah does not like divorces his wife (even though he is not forbidden to do it) then he will refrain from giving he a divorce. In the same way, the woman will see that things will be tough for her and she would reform herself. In this way, they will reconcile. The Holy Prophet ﷺ has said about the second marriage (of the woman) that it should be contracted, with the intention of the life-long association. If this man whom the woman marries does not intend to keep her always as his wife but goes through this exercise only that the woman may become lawful for her first husband meet the conditions of Shari’ah them he must know that the Holy Prophet ﷺ has cursed such men. If the first husband gets another man to do this thing for him so that his former wife may again become lawful for him; then the Prophet ﷺ has cursed him too.
عن ابن عباس رضي الله عنه لعن رسول الله ﷺ المحلل و المحلل له
According to ibn Abbas (R.A), the Messenger of Allah cursed the man who made a woman lawful for the first husband and the one for whom she was made lawful.
Thus, according to Shari’ah, a woman can become lawful for her first husband only through natural means. After her first husband has divorced her and she marries another man and him to divorces her because of differences or any other reasons except willfully making her lawful for the first man, or he happens to die. The woman will then wait for the prescribed period of iddah. It is only after that, that the woman will be allowed to marry her first husband without compunction.
These are very stern obstacles, which the first husband must overcome to get back his wife. This should inspire him to hold the institution of marriage to high respect and be grateful to Allah for His blessings, and he must resolve to preserve his marriage forever. He must not think of serving the ties of manage. If a husband sees that he faces so many hurdles after he separates from his wife and until he reunites with her then he will not let things drift to the third divorce.
أن الشارع حرمها عليه حتى تنكح زوجا غيره عقوبة له ولعن المحلل والمحلل له لمناقضتهما ما قصده الله سبحانه من عقوبته وكان من تمام هذه العقوبة أن طول مدة تحريمها عليه فكان ذلك أبلغ فيما قصده الشارع من العقوبة فإنه إذا علم أنها لا تحل له حتى تعتد بثلاثة قروء ثم يتزوجها آخر بنكاح رغبة مقصود لا تحليل موجب للعنة ويفارقها و تعتد من فراقه ثلاثة قروء أخر طال عليه الانتظار وعيل صبره فأمسك عن الطلاق الثلاث وهذا واقع على وفق الحكمة والمصلحة والزجر فكان التربص بثلاثة قروء في الرجعية نظرا للزوج ومراعاة لمصلحته لما لم يوقع الثالثة المحرمة لها وههنا كان تربصها عقوبة له وزجرا لما اوقع الطلاق المحرم لما أحل الله له وأكدت هذه العقوبة بتحريمها عليه إلا بعد زوج وإصابة وتربص ثان
Verily, the law which forbids a woman from marrying a man (first husband) until she marries another man is a punishment that Allah intended (for the first husband). And what Allah intended they do against it. The fulfillment of this punishment included that the period in which the woman is haraam over the man (first husband) should be longer because this situation better fulfills the purpose of this law of shariah.
Because when the man (first husband) realizes that the woman will no longer be lawful for him until she has completed her iddah of divorce which comprises of three menstrual periods. After that, another man marries her for the sole purpose of marriage and until the woman gets separated from her second husband, and does not go through another ‘iddah of three menstrual periods, the man (first husband) will not be able to have her as his wife. To wait for such a long time and the required patience will prevent the man to give three divorces at one time. This clearly shows that this ruling is in compliance with wisdom, expediency, and goodness. The waiting for up to three menstrual periods for return (rujoo) is showing Allah’s compassion and expediency towards the man, because he has not yet entered into the third divorce which would have made the woman (wife) completely haram for him. Here the punishment for the husband is an expression of disgust at the fact that he wrongly used the right of divorce which prohibits the lawful blessing of Allah, and this punishment has been made so severe that the woman remains haram for him, until unless she marries another man for the sole purpose of marriage (not for the sake of Tahleel or Halala). And if this husband later divorces her for some reason or he dies, then after completing the ‘iddah, this woman will be halal for the previous husband.
To read this article in Urdu, click on the link below: